winter wonderland '11

Earlier this morning I noticed some interesting ice patterns in my front yard. I thought it was odd that the ice seemed to stop right at our property line. I look down the street and no one else has any ice in their yard. That is when I noticed the sprinklers were all on in my front yard. I could have sworn those were turned off at the control box in the garage. I double-check. Yes, the sprinkler system is off. I have a busted pipe somewhere.

So I put on my coat and shoes and step out onto the front porch. Every blade of grass is about an inch thick with ice. The trees and shrubs are all iced over from the ground up to about 2 feet high, it’s very pretty actually. But I shake off the distraction of the winter wonderland my yard has become and I focus on the task at hand. I’ve got to shut off that water. I have no idea how long the sprinklers have been on, and I fear my next water bill is going to hurt. I need to get to the sprinkler shutoff valve at the far end of the yard.

I hurry off the front porch and immediately slip and fall on the icy sidewalk. After a quick recovery, I rethink my strategy. I should probably avoid the sidewalk, but I can’t see a path through the yard that will keep me dry from the sprinklers. I limp down the driveway into the street and go around the yard to where the sprinkler system valve is, this time staying clear of the ice. I see water gushing down the street and it’s all coming from my yard! I find the sprinkler valve cover and open it up to find it is filled to the brim with water – about a foot and a half deep. I can see the shutoff valve at the bottom of the icy abyss, taunting me.

Right now I am thinking “how do I get out of sticking my arm down into this icy water”? But then I remember the gushing water and the inevitable water bill. So I pull up my coat sleeve and reach down into the cold. I find the valve and start trying to turn it, but it won’t budge. Wow that water is cold! While I am arguing with the sprinkler valve, one of the sprinklers about 2 feet from me turns my direction and sprays me in the side of my head. I try turning the valve in the other direction and it works. I see the all the sprinklers shutting down! Man that water is cold, my arm is tingling now.

Feeling victorious, I walk out into the street and slip and fall again on the ice. I wonder how many neighbors saw that?

True story.
-Ben